because you know I like to share my insider information with my friends.
When it is very early in the morning, and you think to yourself, "I have a few minutes and my heels are feeling a little rough, I think I will grab my Ped Egg and my lotion." And, knowing you are clumsy you remind yourself that you are wearing sandals today and too much lotion will make them very slippery, so go easy on the lotion. Remembering this is a very good thing, but make a note here. When you go to grab the lotion? Turn the light on. Here's why:
I used the Ped Egg with no problem (although a silencer on that thing would be nice. Sounds like a saw!). As I was putting on the lotion, I noticed it was not soaking in as well as it should have, but, I went ahead anyway, because you know, why bother? It was very early so often times I rely on the light from the rerun of the George Lopez Show on Nick at Night on the TV, which up until today, has never failed me. After I complete the lotion application on both feet, I get up to return the lotion, and as I am putting it away I think to myself, "hmm...this is somewhat larger than my lotion tube." And I look down and what is it? It is moisturizing all right. Moisturizing BODY WASH.
Now, while this is mildy disappointing, it does say moisturizing right there on the bottle, so, lazy me decides, eh...I rubbed it in. Tis safe for bodies. What's the harm? At least my feet will not be slipping around in my sandals, and I go on my merry way. I don't wanna stop and wash it off. My feet are smooth, and smelling very much like citrus, which really? Who could be offended by this?
So, I leave for work. And realize I have to stop for gas. Now, I should have stopped yesterday for gas but I really HATE pumping gas. It is the biggest waste of time to me, and is now economically painful. I would have stopped yesterday but vanity got in the way (shocker, no?). It was, literally 99% humidity, and my hair? It would have poofed right out there instantly like some time lapse video you would see on Discovery. Only this? Would have been real time. So I put off getting gas until today. I got in the car, stopped off at McD's for the large Diet Coke (where I had to pay cash because the debit card thingie was not working...again!), and monitored gas prices all the way to my regular filling station. (Which, I screwed myself out of 3 cents per gallon, but, when it costs $55 to fill up? Who's counting).
So, I get out of the car, and it is raining...and there are puddles. Vanity screwed me, but do you *see* where this is going? As I was standing there, in the puddle, in the rain, I noticed the distinct smell of oranges. Hmm...where is this coming from? Is someone using Orange Glo??? And then? I look down.
My feet. My feet are FOAMING. I am standing here, pumping gas, all dressed in black, while my feet -- cute pink toes, strappy black sandals and all -- create a lovely foaming lather with an overwhelming smell of orange blossoms, right there at the Hess Mart. Although this story would be much more humorous if there was say, a total stranger also pumping gas to witness it, I am very grateful that it pretty stops here. Unless you could the part about me walking VERY cautiously to the door of my car because my feet were so slippery I assumed I was walking on a slightly slick, one inch beam of ice about 50 stories up. You know how slippery that is? Yeah. Welcome to my world.
Moral of the story? Turn the light on and make sure you're really getting lotion when you think you are. Or keep your body wash somewhere else...
When it is very early in the morning, and you think to yourself, "I have a few minutes and my heels are feeling a little rough, I think I will grab my Ped Egg and my lotion." And, knowing you are clumsy you remind yourself that you are wearing sandals today and too much lotion will make them very slippery, so go easy on the lotion. Remembering this is a very good thing, but make a note here. When you go to grab the lotion? Turn the light on. Here's why:
I used the Ped Egg with no problem (although a silencer on that thing would be nice. Sounds like a saw!). As I was putting on the lotion, I noticed it was not soaking in as well as it should have, but, I went ahead anyway, because you know, why bother? It was very early so often times I rely on the light from the rerun of the George Lopez Show on Nick at Night on the TV, which up until today, has never failed me. After I complete the lotion application on both feet, I get up to return the lotion, and as I am putting it away I think to myself, "hmm...this is somewhat larger than my lotion tube." And I look down and what is it? It is moisturizing all right. Moisturizing BODY WASH.
Now, while this is mildy disappointing, it does say moisturizing right there on the bottle, so, lazy me decides, eh...I rubbed it in. Tis safe for bodies. What's the harm? At least my feet will not be slipping around in my sandals, and I go on my merry way. I don't wanna stop and wash it off. My feet are smooth, and smelling very much like citrus, which really? Who could be offended by this?
So, I leave for work. And realize I have to stop for gas. Now, I should have stopped yesterday for gas but I really HATE pumping gas. It is the biggest waste of time to me, and is now economically painful. I would have stopped yesterday but vanity got in the way (shocker, no?). It was, literally 99% humidity, and my hair? It would have poofed right out there instantly like some time lapse video you would see on Discovery. Only this? Would have been real time. So I put off getting gas until today. I got in the car, stopped off at McD's for the large Diet Coke (where I had to pay cash because the debit card thingie was not working...again!), and monitored gas prices all the way to my regular filling station. (Which, I screwed myself out of 3 cents per gallon, but, when it costs $55 to fill up? Who's counting).
So, I get out of the car, and it is raining...and there are puddles. Vanity screwed me, but do you *see* where this is going? As I was standing there, in the puddle, in the rain, I noticed the distinct smell of oranges. Hmm...where is this coming from? Is someone using Orange Glo??? And then? I look down.
My feet. My feet are FOAMING. I am standing here, pumping gas, all dressed in black, while my feet -- cute pink toes, strappy black sandals and all -- create a lovely foaming lather with an overwhelming smell of orange blossoms, right there at the Hess Mart. Although this story would be much more humorous if there was say, a total stranger also pumping gas to witness it, I am very grateful that it pretty stops here. Unless you could the part about me walking VERY cautiously to the door of my car because my feet were so slippery I assumed I was walking on a slightly slick, one inch beam of ice about 50 stories up. You know how slippery that is? Yeah. Welcome to my world.
Moral of the story? Turn the light on and make sure you're really getting lotion when you think you are. Or keep your body wash somewhere else...
1 comment:
haw haw! luvv ya komodia you rock!
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